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This was super interesting. For someone who is inherently competitive by nature (I aced Botany 100 simply because I wanted a better grade than the friend I was taking the course with; I enter A&S competitions _because I want to win_), I find myself utterly at a loss when it comes to my relationship between my fiction (or my reviewing) and possible awards for my fiction. Right now, it just seems like a lot of work to figure out what is what, and that's more emotional energy than I can invest right now. It's actually quite pleasant being in a position where I can sit back and say "if someone else nominates my work for something, hurrah, but I'm not (yet) at the point where I want to play that game myself" -- even if it is weird because it is so otherwise atypical for my character!