Charity's Girlfriends

Chapter 9: Charity and Lydia 1806

Lydia Richards was another schoolteacher who prized the opportunity the work gave her for freedom and avoiding marriage. When she came into Charity’s orbit, she expressed a desire “to be your constant companion.” They had first met half a dozen years earlier and felt an immediate bond that was disrupted when gossip forced Charity back to her parents’ home. The two kept up a correspondence through the Mercy years, though Lydia more faithfully than Charity. She repeatedly longed for “mutual love” “clasped in each other’s arms.” When Charity once again moved to the town where Lydia lived, this wish was fulfilled by an initial two-week visit to Lydia’s family.

After that initial visit, Charity and Lydia spent as much time as possible in each other’s company and wrote copious letters to fill the absences, including complaints of what could not be set down on paper. They exchanged gifts typical of those given by courting couples. Friction between Charity and her brother’s in-laws was making her living situation untenable, and Lydia began floating the idea that Charity move in with her family. Charity did so for two months, but during a visit the two made to another friend in a nearby town, word came from Lydia’s parents that she was to return alone.

There are suggestions that Lydia’s parents had found some sort of evidence of the true nature of the couple’s relationship. Despite Lydia’s pleas, Charity determined to accept an invitation from friends in Vermont, promising to continue loving Lydia forever.

Lydia’s continued letters reflect increasing longing for Charity’s love and return, but half a year later, Charity was still in Vermont and the letters became increasingly pleading and lonely. By the time a year had elapsed, Lydia heard from a third party that Charity had set up housekeeping with a younger woman in Vermont.

Only after an eventual visit from Charity, with Sylvia in tow, did Lydia acknowledge the end of her hopes, in a letter filled with bitter literary allusions. But after that, they realigned their relationship as a friendship that lasted until death. Lydia never did marry.

Chapter 10: Charity and Sylvia February 1807

The couple who invited Charity to join them in Vermont were distantly related—not uncommon in the small-town culture of New England. The husband was related to Charity’s mother, and the wife was the sister of Sylvia Drake. The family connections—however distant—may have helped people justify the bond that sprung up between them. Sylvia was initially anxious about the introduction of another single woman into their circle—one who had had the educational opportunities she lacked. Despite their differences in background, a romantic relationship began quickly.

Charity began work as a tailor and Sylvia apprenticed to her to keep up with the work. Two poems, written during the period when they were first getting acquainted and attributable to Sylvia, celebrate Spring as a time of budding romance and love, though adding further seasonal imagery of the eventual coming of winter. Initially, Charity had planned to stay for three months, and the anticipated end of the visit may have prompted Sylvia’s concern for the turning of the seasons.

Charity was beset by a steady stream of Lydia’s letters and omitted all mention of her new friend in response. Charity extended her visit, then extended it again. In mid-summer, Sylvia moved on to stay with a different family member—a typical arrangement for an unmarried woman being maintained by her family. The two promised to write, but this promise was unnecessary. A month later, Sylvia returned and they would never again be parted in the succeeding 44 years.

This time, Charity made some practical plans. Never again would a relationship be at the mercy of a host family’s scrutiny and disapproval. The amount of sewing work shew as receiving was enough to establish an independent household. She rented a room, while retaining the community good will of being part of a familial network. Charity wrote Sylvia asking her to join her. The sewing work was the cover to make their arrangement acceptable to the community. Charity would “hire” Sylvia as her assistant, thus bypassing questions of why Sylvia was no longer living with family members.